F.U.B.P. or It's a Gas, Gas, Gas!

Firstly, tell me people somewhere are boycotting BP gas stations! Today, I drove by a BP and there were lots of customers. What?!?! I'm still boycotting Exxon because of the Valdez. Would people take action if BP was polluting local rivers? How about swimming pools? BP is polluting the Ocean that belongs to everyone, and they can't seem to stop! Pick up your grudge and carry it, my 'Villians! And BP: Shut it off, clean it up and then find a good use for it! At least, be really, really sorry about it. Until then, I'm giving my business to Chevron. P.S. I'm never buying gas at a BP again unless I have to roll in on fumes, and then I'm only getting a gallon. Furthermore, I hope all the other companies practice good citizenship or I'm going to dig for oil in my backyard to supply my own petroleum needs.

And speaking of, I'd like to point out that I can't stand the smell of gasoline. It makes me sick. I used to be down on bio-fuel because I didn't want to smell like an old french fry. Today, what I wouldn't give to smell like a delicious old french fry. Because! Because I had another gas pump related calamity. I have this tendency to get gasoline on my person every fifth time I fill the car. It is a minor disability and for much of my adult life, I have just refused to pump my own gas. I willingly paid more for someone else to fill 'er up. Then gas got crazy expensive (for the U.S.) a couple of years ago and, when my full service gas station closed, I boldly decided to pump my own. Aside from the occasional tiny spot of gas on my hand or shoe, it was livable. Until today. I'll admit it, I got cocky.

It started a couple of months ago when I realized that you could prop the nozzle open with that little metal thingy, thereby not having to squeeze for a whole couple of minutes. Oh, was I too cool for school! I'm a g.d. genius, I know. I smugly propped and then glanced around to see if anyone was noticing my coolness. Oh, nothing could touch me! Until today. Today, I decided to pump up the volume, as it were. I not only propped my nozzle, but walked away and--drum roll please--washed the windshield! The front went so well, I decided to do the back. As I finished my washing I thought, hey, I'll just pull the nozzle out of the tank before I put the squeegee away. Hubris. Because, I squeezed when I should have yanked and managed to squirt myself with gas from the top of my head to the tip of my shoe. Horrors. A trip to Goodwill for a wardrobe change and a Silkwood shower at the gym and I Still.Smell.Like.Gasoline. Stop shaking your head.

In other news, today is the last day of kindergarten! The teacher gifts are given, the boy has been bringing home truckloads of work pages and art and at 3:05 p.m. he will be a rising first grader! He learned so much, he worked so hard and I am very proud. Now it's Summertime and the livin' will be a little less easy for me, but a lot more fun.

Remember: Boycott BP! It's easy.